


So hold me tight, I just wanna fade out

by オビカカファッカー (Drakojana)



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU!Obito, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, M/M, Oneshot, Root!Obito
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26500522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/%E3%82%AA%E3%83%93%E3%82%AB%E3%82%AB%E3%83%95%E3%82%A1%E3%83%83%E3%82%AB%E3%83%BC
Summary: Tobi was like a moth drawn to a flame. And his flame’s name was Hatake Kakashi.-AU where Obito was saved by the Root, not Madara.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 29
Kudos: 239





	So hold me tight, I just wanna fade out

**Author's Note:**

> [This post is what heavily inspired me.](https://obitohatakes.tumblr.com/post/621742243270819840/crescentmoonrider-kakaobiweek2019-day-3)  
> The title comes from "Hypnotised" by Purple Disco Machine.

He wasn’t sure when it all started. 

Perhaps one day they’d just crossed paths among one of the village streets and his feet simply carried him in the same direction as the silver-haired shinobi. No one had told him to do so, but being a Root agent made it clear to him that he had no wishes on his own. And so, the more he followed and observed the other, the more he couldn’t understand why he did so. Years passed with him spending any spare time he had on patrolling Konoha and it became like second nature to him.

He knew the last living Hatake was a former ANBU member, even stood among the Root once. But they had never met under Lord Danzo’s instructions. They had never passed by each other, though back then they both had hidden their faces, so they might never know. 

The silver-haired man wasn’t covering his entire face anymore, simply wearing his trademark black cloth over his mouth and a tilted headband to cover the left eye. 

But he was. He hardly ever looked at his own face. Only two people in the world knew what it looked like, perhaps. He didn’t even know what to think of it. He didn’t hate it, but he couldn’t love it either. The right half scarred from an accident he couldn’t even remember anymore. His left eye missing, as well. 

He had no memories, either. No name. No past. He only existed to serve Lord Danzo as the member of the Root. He had no family, no friends, no acquaintances. Even the others from the Root, they were only nameless tools. He was as expendable as anyone else. 

But sometimes, sometimes he had a name. An alias for a mission. They would call him Tobi then. And in the end, if he had to think about himself, he would call himself Tobi, as well.

Tobi was like a moth drawn to a flame. And his flame’s name was Hatake Kakashi.

* * *

It was a day of festivities in the village. There were no particular missions issued for the evening, the simple order of keeping watch over the streets active. He stood between the stalls, concealed in the shadows. Some people would occasionally catch sight of his red eye but they’d always turn their gazes away. His outfit didn’t give away his place in the Konoha ranks but they could always tell that he was someone they shouldn’t pay too much attention to for their own good.

Three laughing children walked past him, not even one of them noticing his presence. One boy had the Fourth Hokage’s deep blue eyes and spiky blonde hair. The other was from the Uchiha clan, a sour expression on his face. And the girl was smiling widely, long pink hair falling over her shoulders as she tried to catch the second boy’s attention.

He wouldn’t spare them even a second of his time, normally shifting his gaze towards other people that might pose more threat to the public. But the Hokage’s son turned around and shouted out, “Kakashi-sensei, hurry up!”

Tobi’s shoulders tensed as a fourth figure entered his view, wearing a grey yukata, the color complimenting his hair. He was holding one of the books he’d always read any time he could. He looked like he was laughing lightly underneath his mask, his right eye filled with fondness.

Though it quickly shifted towards him and his expression darkened, just like all the other shinobi who had spotted Tobi before, he could immediately tell he was from the Root. Tobi was used to the spiteful or anxious looks. But his eye meeting Kakashi’s, it somehow… stung. 

The Hatake stopped, standing in the middle of the road, among various food stalls. Tobi didn’t dare to move either. A soft sigh escaped Kakashi’s lips as he looked back at his students who had already disappeared from Tobi’s sight.

“You’ve been following me for some time now.”

It didn’t sound accusatory but still, felt unwelcome. Tobi lowered his gaze to the ground. He’d gotten that obvious throughout the time, getting closer and closer. A shame for any other ANBU member, most likely. But the way the silver-haired shinobi carried himself, the light-hearted attitude, the carelessness with reading improper books in public, the habit of being late everywhere… It kept drawing Tobi in.

He was familiar with pain. Suffering. Loss. He wasn’t familiar with smiles, laughter and kindness. Then why did Kakashi feel so familiar? 

“I know you’re from Root.” The Hatake’s voice was tired. He had to be exasperated by having an ANBU spy on him. “What does Danzo want from me?”

Tobi only clenched his fist, the leather of his gloves creaking as the fingers tightened. Lord Danzo, he had nothing to do with it. Tobi wasn’t even following any orders. He was doing it absent-mindedly again. But he wasn’t used to talking. Not to Kakashi. He wasn’t even sure if he could find his voice.

_A moth drawn to a flame._

“I don’t really care, either way.” The shinobi continued when he got no response. “Just don’t harm my students.”

He didn’t understand. But he nodded, just slightly.

“Kakashi-sensei! You coming on not?” 

“Yes, yes, I’m coming…” The Hatake’s voice changed like at a snap of fingers and the soft expression returned to his eye. He left, joining his students. Tobi found no reason to stay in that spot, so the air around him whirled and soon he was gone as well.

* * *

As he sat on one of the branches of the many trees of Konoha, he wondered. Just which name among the Memorial Stone writings was the one Kakashi read every day. Which one he caressed with his fingers fondly and gave that tiny smile underneath his mask to. Tobi always stood too far away, hiding in the trees surrounding the graveyard. 

The silver-haired shinobi visited the Memorial Stone nearly every day. The only times he wouldn’t be there first thing in the morning would be the times he’d be assigned a mission outside of the village, taking him and his team a couple of days. For someone who hated doing pointless things, Tobi learned to avoid the empty days, and yet he still spied on Kakashi whenever he could.

If the Hatake woke up at 5 A.M. to visit the spot, Tobi was already there by then. A shadow, following Kakashi blindly. He found himself longing, to say a single word to him. But his voice was rusty and dead. It was wrong, grating his own ears whenever he said a simple “Yes my Lord” to Danzo. The voice might as well not be his. But he couldn’t remember what he had sounded like before. So it didn’t matter. He was fine with just listening.

Sometimes he heard single words spoken by the Hatake. _Thank You_ -s, and _Sorry_ -s. Kakashi was so different in front of the Stone. So… vulnerable. Like a child. Tobi would find it fascinating had he already not been so obsessed with the silver-haired shinobi. An invisible force nudged him to get closer. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. The Hatake was already aware of his constant presence, either way.

* * *

Uchiha Obito.

That was the name Kakashi spoke with softness. Tobi learned someday when he dared to almost expose himself. But the other didn’t mind, or care, too caught up in his own thoughts. 

_Obito._

Kakashi would always seem as if the entire world ceased to exist whenever he was by the Stone. Talking to someone who had left for a mission to never return.

_Thank you, Obito._

Kakashi would pull up his headband. Talk about seeing the world with his Sharingan eye. 

_I’m sorry, Obito._

The Hatake’s words sounded like he owed his entire life to that person. Like a part of him had died along with the Uchiha.

_Forgive me, Obito…_

He was so genuine. The true Hatake Kakashi, not the one hiding behind smiles and the simplest of jokes. The man filled with regrets and robbed of all loved ones. Only there, at the Memorial Stone, could he admit that there was just a single reason for him to carry on.

As Tobi listened to it, his stomach churned. With each _Obito_ said out loud, it felt like his throat tightened. He couldn’t understand why it was doing that to him. Why that simple name made his chest ache, why it stabbed him sharper and deeper than any kunai knife could. 

He had to leave before he’d reach the point of no return, he thought. Yet as his eye spun wildly to life and he disappeared with the use of his Mangekyo Sharingan, someone screamed at the back of his mind.

* * *

At some point, he just couldn’t stand by anymore. 

He was supposed to live in the shadows. Be nonexistent to anyone in the village unless ordered to. Fulfil all of Lord Danzo’s wishes. 

And that… that wasn’t an order. It was a desire. A selfish request from the bottom of his heart, that slowly but surely thawed out after being encased in artificial ice for so long. He wasn’t emotionless, no matter how much they’d tried making him. Dozens of seals and surgeries and they could take away his memories and his name, but they couldn’t take away his heart. 

A child, long forgotten and hidden deep within his mind, was asking. 

_Talk to him._

The push that felt no stronger than a gust of wind wasn’t even real, it was a ghost of his past urging him to take the first step. He couldn’t recall what it would look like, but the imaginary hand on his back was determined in making him move. It was the day it was done watching him stand by, done hiding in the shadows. 

And so he did. He stepped out to the open field, his sandals crushing the grass beneath his feet. Each step felt heavier and heavier, so unlike him. He could phase through anything like a ghost and yet at the moment, he felt more tangible than ever. 

Kakashi stared him down, half-lidded visible eye showing no particular emotions. After all, they weren’t enemies but they weren’t friends either. They were no strangers yet they wouldn’t call each other acquaintances. It was a bizarre, grey area of nothingness. Another thing that irked Tobi. 

He halted when no more than a few feet were parting them. The wind was softly blowing, the rustle of leaves in the background. The Hatake’s hair was gently caressed by the gust and Tobi felt his robes flap rhythmically. 

“It’s you again,” Kakashi commented with both of his hands hidden in the pockets. But the pose only seemed open to an untrained eye, to someone unfamiliar with their profession. Tobi could tell the other wasn’t letting his guard down around him.

It was still early morning hours and no one else was around. Perhaps just one stray ANBU under the Hokage’s orders was passing by. They wouldn’t interrupt them, however, knowing how it was a different matter. One glance at Tobi and they most likely knew it was an issue they weren’t qualified to interfere with.

They stood there in silence, the world around them turning insignificant. Kakashi was waiting for Tobi’s first move, it seemed. And Tobi wasn’t sure what he could do. Somehow, he found himself wishing he could not alert the silver-haired man. But he was from the Root, and it was impossible.

“Does Danzo want me dead, finally?”

Tobi should be able to reply to it, knowing full well what his Lord wanted him to do or not. But his thoughts drifted towards another corner of his mind just for a split second. Did _he_ want Kakashi dead…?

The answer came to him as naturally as he breathed. There was no doubt in him. No _if-_ s or _why-_ s, it was an unconditional thought. But he didn’t voice it. He had another reason to finally stand face-to-face with the Hatake. Before he made even a single hand movement, he decided to make use of his voice that he hated so much.

“I have… a request.”

Kakashi scoffed at that, his eye narrowing in suspicion.

“And what would you want from me?” The way he replied, it stung because Tobi could tell Kakashi wasn’t speaking of him, he was taking his words as if they were on behalf of the entire Root. Of Lord Danzo himself. 

No Root member would just speak of themselves. They were just tools, they had no reason to think for themselves. But Tobi had spent too much time following Kakashi, and the seed of hope that had planted itself in his heart was sprouting now, growing, wrapping its roots around his heart. 

He reached for the mask covering his face. No one but two people ever saw it. But still, he hoped. He couldn’t say why or find any logic in his actions. The silver-haired man was probably a stranger after all. 

But Tobi was too close to back out now. And just like a moth that flies too close, he was prepared to get burned. 

Kakashi was all tensed up, his hands ready to either reach for a weapon or perform one of his many Jutsu. Tobi just lifted the mask, taking it off to expose his face to the sunlight for the first time in years. 

Before he could even ask his question, he saw it in the Hatake’s gaze. Kakashi’s eye widened in shock, disbelief, and maybe, just maybe, there was a hint of something Tobi had been searching for for so long. _Recognition_.

Perhaps… Perhaps _three_ people knew it, after all…

They said it almost at the same time. A question and the answer. Oh, how it fit perfectly in his ears. How it would both make sense and be utterly confusing. 

“Obito…!”

His mask would drop because the next second Kakashi whispered the name, he had his arms around him, with no malice or distrust. Embracing him, pulling him in, holding him tightly. 

He didn’t know what to do. For that single moment, he forgot whether he even asked, after all. But the question didn’t matter anymore. He knew. He understood now.

_Who... am I?_

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write it so damn fast when the idea struck because I've had some ideas for Root!Obito for some time now but never this defined. Hope you liked it! :D
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


End file.
